Sean and I are HOUSE junkies, this is an interesting comment as HOUSE through much of the series is a junkie of sorts. We watch the episodes out of order on various channels. We DVR them, we watch them live. We look for them when nothing else is on. It's true that we have Netflix and could simply rent the entire series so far and watch them in order. But, this would take the fun out of it.
When they stopped showing marathons on Saturday nights, Sean and I both pouted for a few weeks- when we finally realized that they were yes, in fact, actually, no longer being shown, anymore.
Recently we happily caught the episodes where HOUSE has entered into a mental institution. In addition to having dirty office sex with Franka Potente (of Run Lola Run) he learns that he is a "fixer" and needs to let go. I'd say most people have a love/hate relationship with HOUSE. Including all the characters on the show. But, for those who watch. I often despite his angsty, cynical, witty, jackassery, find him quiet lovable.
So, when Sean recently compared me to HOUSE as the fixer who feels the need to solve the problems I've created, often by my own doing (no one to diagnose here??) I didn't feel all too bad about it. I think HOUSE if we were to deconstruct him as a character- would be all the bad parts of us amplified. He is the bad- the cranky. How WE as a society would behave if we could express ourselves in constant pain.
Is this what they meant when they created him? Was Greg, meant to be me and you at our very worst moments? At times when we refuse to deal with the horror of humanity. When we can no longer trust!?
Oh... HOUSE. I rue the day you retire- tossing your cane to the wind. Pain Killers down the drain. Porn in the dumpster.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Sundays are for relaxing.
I have done so much cooking today and cleaning I think I might collapse!
This morning I made Reilly blueberry flax pancakes. I used cherrybrook farms pancake mix- I love the vanilla flavor and it has very few ingredients. I mixed in fresh blueberries, ground flax seed and rice milk. She went insane- she was so excited and elated by her breakfast I decided to make her a fancy lunch.
I made pineapple tempeh with pineapple chunks. First I cut the tempeh into cubes- then I steamed the chunks in pineapple juice. After a good steam I put the whole pot in the oven. Everything got roasty toasted. She happily fed herself tempeh and pineapple. I also gave her sweet potato that I fresh roasted this morning- while making tomato sauce for dinner.
I was tempted to make her a peach raspberry oatmeal cobbler for dinner but, I had to clean up for a visit from my parents. Right before they arrived Sean requested some brownies- so I whipped up a vegan batch with peanut butter and molasses.
Sean and I had pasta for dinner with cheese garlic bread and sautéed arugala and spinach. I am honestly so tired I can barely type. Now its nearly 9:30pm. I washed the dishes and ironed.
I am so very tired! Tomorrow I’ll teach my students how poetry can help them write better essays- I am also hoping to take a trip to Trader Joes.
sleep....
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Pretty Good Year(s)
My 30th birthday has come and gone... as my twenty's end i am thinking so much more about the years that have lead to this point then i did when i turned 20. Teenage years are so important but your twenties- everything changes. Being 30 I don't think is about being seen as an adult or finally facing reality and "growing up" we are defined by our actions and as I have been saying for sometime- our choices and what we do with the responsibility given to us as citizens of the earth and humanity.
Since, I have been thinking so much about it I thought that I would make a list of the top moments that have defined my 20's. So self indulgent. But, I am always trying to be better, love harder, be kinder.
so, here it goes. In no particular order. I tried date order... but that didn't work.
1. I graduate from SUNY Stony Brook University and move to Albany, NY alone to work on my masters. I wanted to go to grad school. I was excited about it. I worked... like a dog. I took nearly double the required credits per semester. I wanted to come home. It taught me about independence, perseverance, possibilities and friendship. I met my dear friend Amy Nolan- who I will always remember- came looking for me. I write and complete my thesis in 3 months- while working nearly full time as a medical assistant at Planned Parenthood Hudson Peconic. I graduate.
2. I get food poisoning and vomit while driving home from work in a snow storm. I vomit for 5 hours while driving into a wide mouth plastic water bottle. I vomit all over the Northern State Parkway and the Hicksville Train Station. After this i refused to be referred to by anything but "bad ass".
3. I get a job as a Grassroots Organizer at Planned Parenthood. I work with the legendary Nanna Fecteau. I am mentored and learn. I fight the good fight.
4. My grandfather dies.
5. My aunt dies. Leaving a trail of grief miles long.
6. My grandmother dies. After everything I learn a very valuable lesson. Death presents us with a fork in the road. One path allows us to be better, do better, grow. The other path allows us to be miserable. To have an excuse to be horrible, do bad and expect our misery to be an answer for our misdeeds in life. I happily witness the the first path in people i love.
7. Two important people in my life are paralyzed with grief. I work to help them. I often cry feeling I am steering them wrong. I think sometimes I did. I hope I got it right more often.
8. My brother moves to Scarsdale. I see him less and less. I am heartbroken. I think it brings us closer. My heart un-breaks as he finds love and I gain a sister.
9. My cousin moves to San Diego. I cry for two days. After all we'd been through together. Separation of the "fantastic five" seems so much more painful. Being in the same state is one thing, across the country is another.
10. Infinity tattoos bond us forever.
11. I get married. After 12 years of sin living- we finally tie the knot. I am deeply, madly in love. It takes my breathe away.
12. I get pregnant. Everything changes. I dream of a lost friend. I find her pregnant with a little girl too. Her friendship is healing, loving. She is exceptional in all ways.
13. Reilly is born. Everything you imagine it to be, it is forever better than you expect. Everything I am, do is for her. She is the greatest, most amazing, wonderful person on earth. I am changed. I am alive. There is an answer, a why, the realization of all things good in the world.
14. I get a job at the Suffolk County Coalition Against Domestic Violence as the Community Educator. My boss calls me the "HUB". I act as such. I LOVE everyone i work with. Or more so, I am in love with them. I am happy, things change. I quit.
15. I get a job teaching at Suffolk County Community College. I see light bulbs go off. I am FOREVER and constantly changed by teaching.
16. At my wedding, as Sean says "I do" I hear a tiny noise from my maid of honor. I am held up, grateful, joyful in so many ways by the noises from this throat.
17. I am called out for bad behavior. I am forced to look at myself for what I have done and become. Torn by resentment I can no longer move forward without healing my wrongs. I try.
18. My uncle smashes my grandparents mini grand with a hammer. The sound is a sinking ship.
19. My father spends a night in the hospital with chest pain. He asks for cookies.
20. After giving birth my mom gently combs my hair.
21. While giving birth Sean whispers something in my ear. I will never forget it.
There are so many more... This is just a sample. Thanks for letting me indulge and reading. I hope of you'll think of moments that have defined you.
Good bye twenties- rest in peace.
Since, I have been thinking so much about it I thought that I would make a list of the top moments that have defined my 20's. So self indulgent. But, I am always trying to be better, love harder, be kinder.
so, here it goes. In no particular order. I tried date order... but that didn't work.
1. I graduate from SUNY Stony Brook University and move to Albany, NY alone to work on my masters. I wanted to go to grad school. I was excited about it. I worked... like a dog. I took nearly double the required credits per semester. I wanted to come home. It taught me about independence, perseverance, possibilities and friendship. I met my dear friend Amy Nolan- who I will always remember- came looking for me. I write and complete my thesis in 3 months- while working nearly full time as a medical assistant at Planned Parenthood Hudson Peconic. I graduate.
2. I get food poisoning and vomit while driving home from work in a snow storm. I vomit for 5 hours while driving into a wide mouth plastic water bottle. I vomit all over the Northern State Parkway and the Hicksville Train Station. After this i refused to be referred to by anything but "bad ass".
3. I get a job as a Grassroots Organizer at Planned Parenthood. I work with the legendary Nanna Fecteau. I am mentored and learn. I fight the good fight.
4. My grandfather dies.
5. My aunt dies. Leaving a trail of grief miles long.
6. My grandmother dies. After everything I learn a very valuable lesson. Death presents us with a fork in the road. One path allows us to be better, do better, grow. The other path allows us to be miserable. To have an excuse to be horrible, do bad and expect our misery to be an answer for our misdeeds in life. I happily witness the the first path in people i love.
7. Two important people in my life are paralyzed with grief. I work to help them. I often cry feeling I am steering them wrong. I think sometimes I did. I hope I got it right more often.
8. My brother moves to Scarsdale. I see him less and less. I am heartbroken. I think it brings us closer. My heart un-breaks as he finds love and I gain a sister.
9. My cousin moves to San Diego. I cry for two days. After all we'd been through together. Separation of the "fantastic five" seems so much more painful. Being in the same state is one thing, across the country is another.
10. Infinity tattoos bond us forever.
11. I get married. After 12 years of sin living- we finally tie the knot. I am deeply, madly in love. It takes my breathe away.
12. I get pregnant. Everything changes. I dream of a lost friend. I find her pregnant with a little girl too. Her friendship is healing, loving. She is exceptional in all ways.
13. Reilly is born. Everything you imagine it to be, it is forever better than you expect. Everything I am, do is for her. She is the greatest, most amazing, wonderful person on earth. I am changed. I am alive. There is an answer, a why, the realization of all things good in the world.
14. I get a job at the Suffolk County Coalition Against Domestic Violence as the Community Educator. My boss calls me the "HUB". I act as such. I LOVE everyone i work with. Or more so, I am in love with them. I am happy, things change. I quit.
15. I get a job teaching at Suffolk County Community College. I see light bulbs go off. I am FOREVER and constantly changed by teaching.
16. At my wedding, as Sean says "I do" I hear a tiny noise from my maid of honor. I am held up, grateful, joyful in so many ways by the noises from this throat.
17. I am called out for bad behavior. I am forced to look at myself for what I have done and become. Torn by resentment I can no longer move forward without healing my wrongs. I try.
18. My uncle smashes my grandparents mini grand with a hammer. The sound is a sinking ship.
19. My father spends a night in the hospital with chest pain. He asks for cookies.
20. After giving birth my mom gently combs my hair.
21. While giving birth Sean whispers something in my ear. I will never forget it.
There are so many more... This is just a sample. Thanks for letting me indulge and reading. I hope of you'll think of moments that have defined you.
Good bye twenties- rest in peace.
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